Through deserts and waters

I must remind myself that there are endless deserts, mountains, waters, seas, valleys, through which I still can wander, and I definitely intend to do exactly that….
I want to go on a lonely journey, with just me, with I, wandering away from all this pain, from these senseless human-filled places… I think, I just found the point of no return, where I decided that it is time to embark on a long journey away from all this…
I want to meet nature, where no human can help me any longer…
I want to loose myself in the wideness of the mountains, in the coldness of the desert, in the heights of the waters, and look down upon a blue sky, deeper than any ocean ever could be and probably is…
I want to loose you, I want to mix you up with the landscape, majestic as it probably is…
I want to mix my memories into the desert sand, and feel it’s hotness, before the cold of night sets in… I want to drown in the dry waters of my inner ocean, and let it get filled up with real ocean water… I want to go away… I want you to go away out of me…
Please go and let me alone with my pain, with me and I, with everything that did not happen, all this nonsense just will vanish inside the forests that come behind the deserts and the waters of our time…
I don’t mind if I loose my luggage around the way… I might not even bring any of it with me.

And still: love will stay in my heart, while I go on this journey. Forever and ever. Only, there will be never a reality to this love. And that almost destroys me, I just hope not before I see the mountains, deserts, and waters ahead of me.

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